What Is WRONG with People?! How Adults Are Fueling Kids’ Anxiety Instead of Helping Them

Introduction: Fear Is Spreading, and We’re Letting It Happen

A few days ago, a horrific Delta flight crash happened in Toronto. Instead of helping kids process it, some adults are making it worse.

This morning, my daughter’s bus driver looked at us and said:
“Aren’t you glad it wasn’t YOUR plane that flipped over?”

Really?! How is that helpful?

Then, one of my students, Mark from Los Angeles, told me that his teachers won’t stop talking about it—so much so that he never wants to fly again.

This is the problem. Kids today are already drowning in anxiety—social media pressure, academic stress, and a constant stream of bad news. And the people in charge of them? Teachers, bus drivers, coaches—trusted adults—are making things WORSE.

Instead of helping kids feel safe, they’re piling on the fear.

It has to stop.

How Fear Spreads to Kids—And Why It’s Dangerous

Kids don’t just wake up one day afraid of the world. They learn it.

When trusted adults speak carelessly about tragedies, kids absorb that fear like a sponge. It sticks with them. It shapes how they see the world.

Let’s break it down:

✅ Kids take emotional cues from adults – If we panic, they panic. If we stay calm, they stay calm.
✅ The human brain is wired for fear – It remembers negative experiences more vividly than positive ones.
✅ Repeated exposure to fear-based talk rewires their thinking – It makes everyday situations feel more dangerous than they actually are.

And here’s the worst part: once that fear is ingrained, it’s hard to unlearn.

Mark’s Story: How One Conversation Shattered His Confidence

Mark, one of my students, is a bright, driven teen from Los Angeles. He has big dreams—he wants to travel, explore new places, and maybe even study abroad one day.

But after the constant conversations about the crash in his classroom, he started saying things like:

“I never want to get on a plane again.”
“What if something happens while I’m flying?”
“Maybe I should just stay home.”

This is what fear does. It shrinks kids’ worlds.

Instead of embracing new experiences, they retreat. Instead of taking risks, they avoid them. Instead of stepping into their future, they let fear dictate their choices.

Adults Need to Do Better—Here’s How

If you work with kids in any capacity—as a teacher, coach, parent, or mentor—you have a responsibility. Your words matter.

1️⃣ THINK Before You Speak

Before making an offhand comment about a plane crash, a crime, or bad news, ask yourself:

❌ Will this make them feel safe?
❌ Will this help them grow?
❌ Am I speaking from my own fear instead of thinking about theirs?

If not? DON’T SAY IT.

2️⃣ Teach Resilience, Not Fear

Instead of fueling anxiety, help kids develop critical thinking and confidence.

Here’s what I teach at CoolCantor Hebrew School:

✅ The world is not as dangerous as the news makes it seem.
✅ Most people are good, and most flights, cars, and daily activities are safe.
✅ Bad things happen—but fear should never control your life.

We can acknowledge challenges without letting them define our reality.

3️⃣ Encourage Action, Not Avoidance

Fear thrives when people avoid what scares them.

If a child says, “I never want to fly again,” don’t reinforce it. Instead, say:

✔ “Flying is one of the safest forms of travel.”
✔ “You’re capable of handling challenges—don’t let fear win.”
✔ “Let’s find real facts, not just scary headlines.”

The goal isn’t to ignore real dangers—it’s to equip kids with tools to manage their emotions instead of being controlled by them.

How Jewish Wisdom Helps Us Face Fear

Jewish teachings emphasize strength, resilience, and faith—not fear.

📖 The Weekly Torah Portion often tells stories of overcoming obstacles. Moses didn’t freeze when facing Pharaoh—he took action.
📖 Bar Mitzvah training isn’t just about learning prayers—it’s about teaching kids to handle challenges with confidence.
📖 Adult Bat Mitzvah students often tell me how they overcame fear—proving that it’s never too late to break free from limiting beliefs.

In Jewish tradition, we don’t dwell on fear—we turn it into action.

✔ We prepare, we educate, we move forward.
✔ We face the unknown with strength, not panic.
✔ We teach kids to be bold—not to shrink in fear.

Why This Matters for Your Child

At CoolCantor Hebrew School, I work with students every day who are struggling with confidence, fear, and anxiety.

But I’ve also seen firsthand how the right education—whether through Online Bar Mitzvah Lessons, Hebrew Education, or Jewish Studies Online—can transform a child’s mindset.

The right teacher, the right lessons, and the right environment can take a fearful child and turn them into a leader.

🚀 Does your child struggle with fear and self-doubt?
🚀 Do they need tools to develop confidence and resilience?
🚀 Are they ready to stop letting fear control their decisions?

If so, I’d love to work with them. Confidence is a skill—it can be taught.

Final Thought: Help Kids Feel Safe, Not Scared

If you take away one thing from this article, let it be this:

👎 Don’t add to kids’ fear.
👍 Help them feel stronger.

Kids today don’t need more negativity. They need leaders, mentors, and parents who teach them to think critically, face fears, and live boldly.

If we fail to do that? We’re part of the problem.

So before you make a passing comment about a plane crash, a scary headline, or “how bad the world is”—STOP.

Think about the child who’s listening.

Then, choose words that make them stronger.

Let’s raise a generation that doesn’t run from fear—but faces it head-on.

📩 Want to learn more about how I help kids build confidence through Jewish education? Reach out today!
also, if you are an adult, who, for whatever reason never had a bar mitzvah or bat Mitzvah , you’ve come to the right place. Because I help adult bar mitzvah and adult bat mitzvah students achieve their dreams as well.